True love story: Commitment to laziness

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There was once a man named Dave, a professional couch potato whose hobbies included staring at the ceiling and thinking about nothing. His life revolved around sleeping, eating, and avoiding any form of activity that required standing up for too long.


One day, through a rare twist of fate (and an insistent friend), he found himself on a blind date with a lively, adventurous woman named Lisa. She was the exact opposite of Dave—energetic, spontaneous, and always eager to explore life’s wonders.

Their first date was at a cozy coffee shop. Lisa sparkled with enthusiasm as she listed all the fun things they could do together:

“Let’s go shopping afterward, maybe catch a movie, and take a walk by the lake! Doesn’t that sound fun?”


Dave blinked slowly. “Shopping…? Movie…? Walk…?” Each word felt like a brick hitting his soul.


Trying to be polite, he forced a half-smile and muttered, “We’ll see…”


After finishing their coffee, Lisa excitedly led the way to a nearby mall. Within ten minutes, Dave was drained. He slumped onto the nearest bench like a deflated balloon.


“Why are you sitting down? Let’s check out that new fashion store!” Lisa beamed.


“I... uh... I’m allergic to walking after coffee,” Dave mumbled.


Lisa stared, puzzled. “Allergic to… walking?”


Before long, Dave concocted an excuse about feeling “existentially exhausted” and vanished into the night, leaving Lisa utterly bewildered.


The Radio Call-Out


Feeling disrespected, Lisa called the popular radio show Love in the Air the next day and shared her bizarre dating experience. Intrigued, the radio hosts tracked down Dave and called him live on air.


“Dave, why did you abandon Lisa like that?” asked the host, suppressing laughter.


Dave, still half-asleep, yawned loudly into the phone. “She wanted... to do things… like... walk... and shop... and... exist.”


The hosts burst out laughing. “Is that so bad?”


“It’s exhausting just hearing those words,” Dave replied with all the energy of a drained phone battery. “I like... sitting... thinking... breathing... slowly.”


Lisa, listening in, couldn’t believe her ears. “Dave, life is about experiences!” she argued.


“Experiences are tiring,” Dave countered. “My dream date is... ordering pizza and... watching the ceiling fan spin... in silence.”


The radio hosts declared Dave officially The Laziest Guy Ever. Surprisingly, the story went viral. Some listeners even admired his extreme commitment to laziness. Others sent sympathy messages to Lisa.


And as for Dave? He was thrilled—being labeled “The Laziest Guy” meant no one would expect much from him ever again... and that was the real win.

Listen to the real show here

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